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Letter to the Friends of IVF Oxford
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Dear Friends,
I felt compelled to write after reading Jane P’s story in the Summer 06 issue of Friends of IVF. I do agree with Jane when she says that despite the low rate of success, all the stories we hear about are successful ones – which is marvelous bit would be good to hear from people who unfortunately haven’t had the same luck. So here is mine.
I met my husband-to-be in 1987 and within 6 months we have moved in together. We got married 7 years later and within 18 months started to talk about having children – I was nearly 30 by then. After 1 year of trying with no success, we went, like most, to see our GP and had various tests. The result was simple: we were told that there was basically NOTHING wrong with either of us and were told to carry on as normal, forget about the whole thing and to relax.
After 5 years of trying, we thought that we would give IVF a go and had 2 failed attempts. My husband would have wanted to try one more but I cannot go through with the trauma, the stress, the wait…….. and the shattered dreams.
Why do some people succeed where others failed? Why is it that in 10 years of not taking any contraception whatsoever, have I NEVER EVER fallen pregnant? And only been late once!
On my 39th birthday this year, I had a jolly good cry and have come to terms with the fact that I will NEVER have children. It is just one of those things.
I hope I have achieved a lot as an individual. For a start, I run my own business but I am a good wife and a good friend. I also love cooking, D-I-Y, gardening, and I am a big fitness fanatic.
But despite all this, I will ALWAYS feel a failure at not succeeding in conceiving a child.
I wish everyone reading this very good luck with the treatments. You have more courage than I have.
V.W.
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